Do you make these "constructive feedback" mistakes?

Because one of the most difficult "managerial moments of truth" managers tell me they struggle with is giving corrective feedback, I decided to create a new seminar solely devoted to this and... a quick "Tip Sheet" too. Here's the tip sheet.

1. Sugar coating negative feedback because you’re afraid the person will get too upset and defensive. Result? They don’t get what you’re trying to say.
   

2. Caving in or backing down because the person is getting upset.
   

3. Avoiding the conversation until you’ve “had it up to here” and now are in a frustrated, take-no-prisoners state – which results in them instantly getting defensive.
   

4. Stating what you’re unhappy about without offering a clear picture of what you want them to do differently.
   

5. Plowing forward with an action plan without first getting agreement about the problem.
   

6. Giving positive feedback without specifics (e.g. “You’re awesome”, “You do such a great job!”)
   

7. Mistaking excuses for valid reasons - allowing the former and shutting down the latter.

8. Waiting for the once a year performance review to give feedback.
   

9. Using vague judgments without specific examples and concrete, sensory-based language. Common examples are terms like “more of a team player”, “more service oriented”, “more helpful”, “more professional”. Labels without examples leave people feeling helpless about making changes because they don’t know what specifically you’re unhappy about.
   

10. Controlling the airwaves so they can’t disagree or make excuses – i.e. making it a monologue instead of a dialogue.
    

11. Sandwiching your negative feedback between two positives: “I really appreciate how hard you work Sam, but…. Your quality levels are really poor and need to be improved… and I like it that you’re always on time."
    
    
12. Delivering a long warm-up preamble before giving the negative feedback: “I really appreciate what a team player you are and I really love your attention to detail and I think you’re doing a great job with…”
    
    
13. Using blunt, provocative, or shaming language to make a point: “I would think that it’s a no brainer…” “That train has left the station, so let’s move on, huh?”, “We’re all grown-ups here.” (said in a shaming tone of voice), etc.
    

14. Pretending to agree and then disagreeing: “I can see why you feel that way, but….” This pattern is especially good at triggering defensiveness and shutting down when it’s delivered with a vocal intonation that rises to a crescendo just before the “but” part comes.
    

15. Winging it. Making an assessment or judgment without thinking through possible angles and getting all the facts. Few things spark resentment than feeling unfairly criticized.
    

16. Using humor to make a point. Some humor – used VERY judiciously – can lighten the tone. Using sarcasm or “just joking” comments to make a point (“Oh, you’re on the 8:23 to 4 PM shift? Now?”) is not such a good idea.
    

17. Interpreting their intention: “I know there’s tension between you and Sarah because she got the Team Lead position you applied for, but…”
    

18. Use a “one size fits all” approach to praise, rather than tailoring it to the personality style of the individual you are praising.

If you would like information on the seminar, email me at David@HumanNatureAtWork.com

Are you driving away employees without even realizing it?

Here's a great, quick read that you should have everyone in your HR dept. and management team read:

The 7 Hidden Reasons Your Employees Leave

Here's the beginning of the article:

Nearly 90% of bosses think their employees quit to make more money. That means nearly 90% of bosses are wrong. Studies show these are the seven “real” reasons that retention isn't better:

Ask HR people their top issue these days, and it’s likely to be retention. That’s no surprise. The cost in dollars and disruption of replacing a trained employee is enormous.

What is surprising is how much employers misunderstand why their people leave, author Leigh Branham, SPHR, told a standing-room-only audience at a recent SHRM conference. That misunderstanding is evident in one astonishing statistical comparison:

--Employers who think their people leave for more money: 89%

--Employees who actually do leave for more money: 12%

The latter result, says Branham, founder of retention consultant KeepingthePeople, Inc., comes from a study of 19,700 post-exit interviews done by the Saratoga Institute, an independent research group. The data identified seven “hidden reasons” employees resign. Here are those reasons, along with Branham’s antidote for each:

for the rest, click here

More Evidence That "Everything Matters"

One of THE most important mantras for managers to remember is:

"Everything Matters"

I've written about this principle - and the story it comes from - in a number of articles, including:

If You Want to Be The Employer of Choice for Healthcare Workers: EVERYTHING MATTERS

Successful Onboarding: Starting Your New Employees Off Right

I always try to make sure I mention this principle in my management seminars, because the more you understand the truth of this when dealing with employees, the greater your ability to manage important moments of truth.

While there are a lot of applications to this principle, here's an important one if you want to:

- increase employee motivation

- improve employee morale

- reduce employee turnover

... and that is... if you focus simply on doing a lot of the best practices for motivating employees or becoming an employer of choice BUT.... you don't consciously and methodically remove the negative things you are doing... it's not going to work.

Why?

Because, the human brain is hard-wired to notice and remember the negative more than the positive. You've probably experienced this if you're a manager.

You can do 20 great things for your team and make one clueless, unthinking mistake, and that overshadows the 20 good things. That's how the brain works. That's part of human nature.

Here's some new research that once again shows how negative memories are coded and remembered more strongly than good ones:

Remembering The Bad Times Better Than The Good

Here's an excerpt:

"Negative events are remembered in greater detail than positive ones.

Kensinger reviews evidence that negative emotion enhances not only the subjective vividness of a memory but also the likelihood of remembering some (but not all) event details. For example, after seeing a man on a street holding a gun, people remember the gun vividly, but they forget the details of the street."

So... find out what you're doing that drives your employees crazy and you'll be far along the path to having a highly engaged workforce